We’re halfway there. And in the words of Bon Jovi, living on a prayer.
July 2 was the midpoint of the year, so July 3 is like New Year’s Day. It’s mid-year New Year. Or halftime. And what do we usually do at halftime? Take a break. Reset. Look at where we’ve been, what we’ve done, what is and is not working, and where to go from here.
Last week, I cohosted a virtual gathering for trade union employees called “Finding Our Way Back Together” in connection with A Human Workplace. In that session, before entering small breakout conversations, we invited participants to close their eyes, and take a walk through the last several months, focusing in on their own experience, personal reality, and personal truth.
Join us in your own walk through:
Close your eyes or soften your gaze. Take a deep breath. And another. One more. Remember…
New Year’s Eve 2019/ 2020. The end of a decade, entering another. Who were you with? What were you doing? How you were feeling? What were your hopes and dreams for 2020?
In January you might have heard about a virus which began in December in Wuhan, China,
Then at some point in February, it became prevalent in Italy, and then,
In March, the Coronavirus was in the US, closer to some of you than others, particularly if you’re in the Pacific Northwest or New York
We started to hear terms and orders like lockdown, quarantine, stay at home, shutdown
Much of the US closed as the world closed: businesses and schools sent people home in attempts to slow the spread and “flatten the curve.”
Many of us who are privileged enough to have jobs where we can, started to work from home, juggling not only trying to work, but trying to care for ourselves and those we love, whether from afar, or fully together in one home.
Perhaps you live alone
Perhaps you are home with your significant other, or kids
Perhaps you have aging parents, with you, or alone in their own homes, or in nursing homes, which are also locked down
Maybe you have family and friends who are healthcare workers, first responders, or other “front line” employees who had to go out to work every day so many could be safe at home
Maybe you had family or friends who became infected with COVID-19, and recovered, or who passed on and whom you were unable to honor with a memorial service as we would before this time. Or perhaps you know people who became sick or were injured and needed treatment and you had to make difficult choices,
You’ve tried to keep yourself busy or find things to take your mind off of it all.
Maybe you’ve found things that have helped you feel grounded and given you a sense of peace or stability during this time
You’ve tried to work, you’ve done your best, as you try to “hold it together”
Maybe you heard about Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Botham Jean, or others, or maybe you didn’t hear about them at all, until
On May 25, Memorial Day, just over a month ago and the start of our summer, George Floyd was killed by a police officer holding his knee on his throat for over 8 minutes while George repeated, “I can’t breathe.”
Then came protests. Peaceful protests, which escalated, sometimes with force from those there to enforce, then riots, then looting,
Racism is unavoidable and undeniable,
All sorts of statements have come out on Black Lives Matter, and the world looks on as the United States seeks to change our future from what has always been in our past
June marks Pride month, where LGBTQ rights are honored and celebrated for those individuals who identify here and are struggling for their own rights and recognition
And here we are today, halfway there, approaching July 4th, Independence Day, with the country opening up again and COVID cases on the rise…
And our nation more divided than ever.
Sit with that for a moment. Sit with it all.
Where are you in it? Life? Work? Family? Community?
Wherever you are, be in it.
Take a few more deep breaths,
And when you’re ready, open your eyes
a bit of reflection
What are you noticing in yourself?
Not just about what has happened to you, but how you’re feeling as you remember, and now, how you’re feeling right here in this moment.
Where do you feel it in your body?
Whatever the feeling, it’s welcome.
Feelings are part of being human, they bring us information we need to be more aware and more in ourselves.
· Maybe you felt sadness, and it brought tears to your eyes.
· Maybe some anger or frustration, and tightness in your shoulders or jaw
· Maybe a sigh of relief, having made it through a tough time,
· Or even a sense of pride about how resilient you’ve been, and you sat a little taller
Find your emotions. All of them. Find them in you. Here’s the thing. The emotions are all here to be felt. As Tara Brach says about fear, “it’s real, but it’s not true.”
· What is the emotion trying to tell you?
· What does it need?
· What do YOU need?
halfway there, and independence
It’s a lot. 2020 is a lot. July 4 here in the USA is Independence Day. I’m thinking about independence, and how important it is as an aspect of being American and what a sense of pride and freedom it represents.
But as humans we are not independent. We are relational animals. Perhaps even moreso than elephants, lions, apes or herd animals. We are wired for connection. We need it. Looking at the definition of independent, of “not depending on another,” or “not connected with another or each other; separate,” I’m not excited and inspired by being so independent, because we DO need each other.
The value in independence comes from choice and being in choice.
Viktor Frankel, a famous holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning is known for his quote:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”
We can’t change many of our circumstances here in 2020, like we can’t change the weather. COVID is still here. Racism is still here. We may want them to go away, but right now, they exist. This is what is.
What do you want to choose? How do you want to be?
I choose (and have to remind myself to keep choosing) to be in the now, which is the only moment I can do anything about. I find it far too easy to be worried about the future, and what’s next, but I can’t control that. All I can control is me, right here in this moment.
And I can choose to take a deep breath or to cry my tears. I can choose to play with my dog or to call my parents. I can choose to pull weeds or to plant flowers. I can choose to write something I hope will help others. I can hug my husband. I can send an email, make a request, share a wish. I can choose how I be in this moment. I can choose to be human, courageous and patient, awakening change® in myself and others. And that choice can lead me to a new feeling in the next moment, and a new future because of what we can generate.
Going into this 4th of July, 2020:
Where will you choose to be independent? What do you want to be independent from?
And where will you choose to be connected? To what? To whom?
Right here in this moment, what choice will you make for your second half?
“Whoa, we’re half-way there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand and we’ll make it. I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
”
In the coming weeks, I’ll be offering virtual sessions of Awakening Change: Step 1, Being Human, previously only held in person at conferences. Dates to be announced in July.